Easy Targets

I’ve noticed over the years how easy it is to recognize weakness and shortcomings in others. Often when I hear a church talk about being kind, forgiving, or developing Christlike charity, I catch myself thinking, so and so should really hear this, they would really benefit from it.

In cognitive psychology this is called attribution, and the same pattern is often observed. We blame the behavior of others on their internal problems and our own behavior on external factors. The example given over on the Business of Software blog was this:

“If you are late to work this morning it’s undoubtedly because you were held up in traffic. If Bob from marketing is late though, it’ll be because he’s lazy and a poor timekeeper.”

The scriptures do teach us that there are times when it’s appropriate to call others to repentance. D&C 121:43 teaches it this way:

“^aReproving betimes with ^bsharpness, when ^cmoved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of ^dlove toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;”

The key to this passage is “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost”. In other words, we don’t need to worry about it until the Spirit indicates that we need to take action. The rest of the time we need to focus on the Savior’s admonition to worry about the beam in our own eye.

At a missionary reunion my mission president took some time to teach us about marriage and relationships. One thought has stuck with me from that night. He said that anytime that someone has fallen short they know it and already want to change or fix it, so becoming angry or distant won’t help the situation. Instead we should always offer our love and support.

It amazes me how hard everyday relationships can be. Problems arise in marriages, friendships, among co-workers and every other group of people that share time and space. Here’s hoping we can all remember to be more kind and more concerned about overcoming our own shortcomings rather than those of our neighbor.

Spirit of Understanding

One of the great teachings from the Savior’s ministry is that spiritual understanding is a gift from God. When Simon Peter testified that Jesus was the Christ we have this enlightening response: “Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).

On a recent trip to Southern Utah I encountered a preacher from another faith one evening and we had quite a long conversation. It reminded me of so many similar conversations I had while serving a full time mission in Rio. The ones that lead to countless sleepless nights because I felt that if I could just explain things a little more clearly, then they could believe and understand.

The truth of the matter is that if the person is open to believing then the Spirit will offer the necessary guidance . This is taught most plainly in Doctrine and Covenants (D&C 84: 85):

“Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man.”

My visit with the preacher was interesting because he wanted to have an intellectual conversation. I’ve learned a lot in the 11 years since returning home from Rio. I’m much better prepared today to have an intellectual discussion than I was as an 19 year old kid. But it didn’t matter, the result was the same now as it was then. We had a cordial conversation, but neither of us budged from our original positions and I doubt either of us really learned anything from the other.

Upon reflection I realized that perhaps the only good part was when I took opportunity to share my testimony. Which I did by explaining that when you’re a teenager and mostly interested in cars, sports, friends, and the like, that it’s a tough thing to leave home and share the story of the restored gospel with complete strangers. Especially the fantastical story about a 14 year old boy who in the early 1800s saw God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ and then later received gold plates from an angel and translated them by the gift and power of God. I explained that it’s not possible to do such a thing unless you have received witness by the Holy Spirit that it’s true. At this point the preacher interrupted with his opinion that we must “believe” it’s true in order to serve missions. I responded that it went beyond belief, you just can’t do it unless you know it’s true.

Given the chance to redo the whole conversation I’d still share that testimony, but I’d also look for ways to steer things towards some areas where we might find common ground. Certainly we both face similar issues: raising children, serving others, strengthening marriages, educating the youth, and supporting sound politicians and public policies. Perhaps next time we can come more to an understanding of those things we share in common. Doing so would actually allow the Spirit of Understanding a chance to participate in, rather than flee, the conversation.

A great talk that explains this in more depth was given by Elder Oaks at the April 2008 conference.

Unending Optimism

President Gordon B. Hinckley 1910 – 2008

President Hinckley will be remembered for so many great things. For me it’s a big change in Church leadership; I have no memory of a time when he was not a member of the First Presidency. President Hinckley’s life accomplishments are far too many to completely list here. His legacy will certainly continue to affect people for good for generations to come. Some of the programs he implemented are really changing the world. The perpetual education fund is a modern day miracle; who can tell the far reaching effects that may come of it? The temple building under his direction was unbelievable. Among all these accomplishments and the amazing qualities his life stood for, the one thing that will always stand out is his enduring optimism. Even with prophetic insight into all the problems facing the world today, he had nothing but enthusiasm for living in this day. It’s no wonder he lived to be the oldest prophet to ever guide the church. This is the example that is most important, and often the most difficult, for us to emulate. No matter what challenges are encountered in life, following his example to do as we’re commanded and do it with hope and good cheer will serve any us well.

“I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good…Look for the sunlight through the clouds”. – President Hinckley